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Overcoming Fear ! 


Often in life we are plagued with feelings of fear, anxiety, and other unpleasant and depressive feelings. Can we prevent ourselves from succumbing to these feelings ? Is it possible to deal with them and overcome them ? I say, "Yes ! Definitely it is possible. You can deal with them and overcome them. And very successfully too ! "But first we must understand "Fear". 

Fear can be divided into two categories - Phobic Fear and Intellectual Fear. Phobic Fear is animalistic and instinctive fear having its roots in the sub-conscious. Intellectual Fear is a consciously generated fear. It has its roots in a known stimulus. Phobic Fear - We all have experienced this at some point. For example, we get scared of a dog rushing at us ferociously ! Heights frighten some of us ! Sudden loud sound makes us jump out of our skin !!! This fear is deep. Yet, it can be overcome ! To overcome Phobic Fear, it is necessary to face the fear causing stimulus . The process is to gradually increase the intensity of the fearful stimulus. The idea is to slowly get used to the stimulus.After a point of time, the stimulus becomes normal and stops generating fear. For instance, the training methodology of trapeze artists or animal trainers. Imagine a Lion trainer training to become a Lion Trainer !! However, it is the second kind of fear. - the Intellectual Fear , that torments us more often. More precisely, we torment ourselves with the intellectual fear. The root cause for this self inflicted torment is overactive pessimistic imagination !! "Fear is nothing but our pessimistic imagination."If we understand this, then we also understand the nature of our fear. And once you understand where the fear is coming from, it is easy to get rid of it ! These are not just academic words. This is a practical solution. Often I have used it in my life to get rid of my demons !! It has helped me to cope with my fear of heights. And many other anxieties. After all, fear is human frailty. We are all humans. And we all are fighting our own battles !! Let's stop and think about what I say. Fear is always a fantastical assumption about what might happen. "Oh what torments I have suffered, because of fears that never arrived !!! " Fear, very often, exists only in our imagination.Demon has not descended upon us. Nothing bad has happened. Yet we suffer untold agony. As if Armageddon has occurred. As if the nightmare in our head has already become reality !! We punish ourselves. And we suffer even before the suffering occurs. Studies show that 90% of our fears do NOT come true. For example, consider a typical day. You wake up in the morning and are afraid that you might get late for work. You leave for office and fear that you might meet with an accident, and get crushed by the car on the road. In your workplace, you fear the wrath of the authorities.Like this you are constantly in the grip of some imagined calamity . And plagued with self inflicted fear. You are afraid of thousands of small and big troubles. Fears consume your entire day like a poisonous drug. We are afraid hundreds of times. Only once count how many of those misfortunes ever happened. Count how many times real troubles happened to you !! On the worst of your days, perhaps hardly 5-7 bad incidents took place. Give it a thought ! One of the coping mechanisms of fear is to return ourselves to reality. Say to yourself, a simple phrase - "That , which I am afraid of, does not exist ! And maybe it will never happen. It's a phantom ! " Fear is not just a demon in the head. Oftentimes, Fear is OUR creation. Fear is OUR imagination. We ourselves create it. We are the authors and owners of our own dark rooms !! It completely depends on us, whether we create them or not. It is important to understand that fear is not what happens to us. It is what we do to ourselves. When you experience fear, it is useful to ask yourself - " Why do I scare myself ? " Constantly imagining the worst, leads to pessimism. If fear is an assumption, then why always assume the worst? If you walk down a dark street in the evening, and meet a group of guys, then why not assume that they will quietly pass by ! In reality, they usually pass by quietly. Or does every second person passing by, rob you ? The other coping mechanism of fear is to face it head-on. Experience. It. It often turns out that what we feared is not as fearful as we thought. It is quite tolerable and can be tolerated. So ask yourself - "Is my fear so scary? Without exaggeration, are the consequences really disastrous ? "Generally speaking, fear is useful. Our survival instincts are primarily based on fear. However, what is good for survival is often bad for for a joyful, vibrant, fulfilling life. It is said that - "Good is the enemy of great".So, practice caution, but in moderation !!! Lest caution drive life away !!! 

Oleg Kozlov